User blog:Venom: SOD/Genocide Snippet

I have nearly finished with my short story. I shall finish it today and afterwards I'll be a bit busy. The last day of a long weekend and exams are coming next week. After that I can write myself to death. So tell me what you think: (I wrote it on notepad, no spell check or grammar check)

Makuta Zardan stood on the deck of his largest warship. Thirteen feet tall, like a Warga, his bulky, spiked armour gave a fierce appearance, helped by his spiked Kanohi Jutlin. Mass bat-like wings protruded from his back, and a large black sword hung from his waist.

It had taken him up to a hundred years to create a small empire. His people were feared by everyone else, so they were quarantined in Terra Quematha. However, their efforts to conquer the planet did not cease, so the Toa came blazing in and massacred his kind. Zardan and Mersirax escaped to the Great Barren, dealing with unwanted followers.

They took refuge in an old fortress. Scavenging and stealing materials from all over Uteara they made a Rahkshi production line. It took years, but they managed to create a large, fully functional fortress, an army of Rahkshi and a fleet of warships.

His first attempt at conquest ended in failure, foiled by the Toa Vithmeir. But it was an experiment, using a small force. The damage caused convinced Zardan that they were capable of conquest. What better place to start a full invasion than Augrel?